I’m mostly a necklace and earring type of girl. And if I follow that way of thinking, I should be designing what I am most likely to wear. So with this thought, I’ve been trying to figure out what I consider to be my style.
What type of jewelry do you wear every day?
What type of jewelry do you wear when you need to dress things up?
What type of jewelry do you buy that makes you feel, brighter, happier?
For every day, I want to be comfortable and straightforward which I’ll talk to you in a bit. For special nights out there tend to be three types of situations I consider. One, is the night out about simple and relaxed? Two is it date night? Or three, is the night out about business, specifically my husbands?
For the date night, I tend to be simple but edgy.
If the third, I like to add more elaborate pieces to my chosen wardrobe, like the vortex necklace and earrings. You can purchase either the above or below at Helium Studio in Wayne, MI.
Pendant necklaces, around 30″ in length are what I wear most. It’s also a length that stays under my apron as I make lattes in my side job. What’s more exciting is that simplicity is only in the length of the necklace.
The glass beads I’ve used are what adds the fire to each look. The Scottish tartan spheres are made up of bright, vibrant colors with the added crisscrossing patterns of colored glass. What adds brilliance is the way light reflects off the inner folds of sterling silver at the heart of each piece of colored glass. Each bead looks as if it were a piece of melting ice. Both types of authentic Venetian beads draw the eye but are each unique, and I love to wear them.
When my life changed directions and I started writing romance and making art and jewelry it never occurred to me that I was missing something. Is there joy when I write a sexy romance? Yes. Do I get satisfaction creating pieces of art that I’m unsure of and yet still push to finish? Again, yes. And is there instant gratification when I complete a new collection of jewelry designs that I can wear once I’m done? Yep. What I didn’t know was that it’s scary putting my art out into the world. It’s much easier to put it online and then walking away. It’s a totally different beast in its physical form leaving it in someone else’s care.
Yesterday after taking another leap of faith to make my business a success I handed over some of my work for consignment in a local gift and art store called Helium Studio. My belly fluttered, and my fingers bounced on my steering wheel as I drove to Helium Studio. I even contemplated what to wear that morning and finally said to myself, wear whatever the hell you want because you’re an artist, it’s not an office interview. So as I was hitting 45 mph and getting to the store 15 minutes early, questions danced through my head. Was my work good enough? Would the owner like what I brought? Would people buy what I created? I was nervous. My nerves had been dormant for a long time. So, as I walked in the small store with two boxes full of carefully packaged jewelry pieces and canvases I exposed my heart to the owner and showed her what I’d produced the last couple of years. By the time our meeting was over she decided to show all the work I’d brought except a couple pieces.
I was stunned.
You know that rush you feel when you’ve done something that resulted in something good and unexpected? Or when you’re listening to the click, click, click of a rollercoaster as you ride to the edge of it’s designed precipice that will take you over that first giant hill? You kind of lose your words and things move fast to the finish? That’s what happened to me. My stomach was doing somersaults and my hands shook as I finished writing out the inventory I was leaving. And then, I had to part with my original paintings. I kind of freaked out. I was hesitant and worried and I wanted to snatch them back because they felt like my babies. You want to know what that feeling was? Fear. And what I hadn’t been feeling in a long time was the fear that felt good.
I’ve battled fear of failure, failing myself and my family, for a long time. I battle that bastard every day. I tell myself to keep going, that if I work toward my goal of success with particular goals set Monday through Sunday, one step at a time to reach the big goal, then I’m doing what I set out to do. But what I missing in all this goal setting frenzy was the good kind of fear, putting my work out into the world, having wild horses galloping in my belly instead of the numb feeling that had gotten me to this point, to this day, and to this moment.
I don’t want to go without that kind of fear again. Some fear is good. It reminds me that I’m alive and doing what I was meant to do.
As I developed this story it spanned, I think four blog posts, starting on May 10th, 2014, and I also brought it to my writer’s group. The responses/reactions were fun to see. There were excitement and laughs, and, “What is going to happen next,” questions.
2. My own interest
If I’m going to develop something further it holds my interest. Otherwise, why keep writing.
3. reaction to character images
As I created characters I used images for inspiration. These photos I collected on a Pinterest board I named Jacob and Charlotte. The reactions I received were similar to what happened as people read the blog posts. So, what I’m hoping will happen, this 3rd step is more of an experiment, is people will jump onto the idea of this romance novel because of the content on the boards. It will be interesting to see what happens.
I can’t tell you how excited and nervous I was to start painting again. It has been years since I’ve painted anything significant or should I say that I thought was good enough to share.
My issues with failing what I started were crippling. I never started anything, said I would wait until later when I was in the mood. Other excuses came just as easily.
It wasn’t until I started my business and took a good look at how stagnant my artistic life had become that a pushed my own fear of failure aside and said to myself that if I wanted to make things happen no one else was going to do it. So, what was I waiting for? There was nothing in my way but myself. That led me to say yes to doing a portrait of a friends dog (his name is Denver). And after that, it was a picture I found of Cosmos that inspired me.
Honestly, I was surprised at what I produced. I was proud of both outcomes. The fact that I have a platform to sell on now wasn’t even a factor, not then, not when I was putting brush and paint to canvas. As the images took shape and I set the paintbrush down after the final touch I got this warm feeling deep inside, that nervous stirring that I had been missing for a while. It was nice to feel it again. The sense of accomplishment and joy that comes from completing something that I thought would ever only be mediocre.
I’m glad I picked up the paintbrush again. I won’t be putting it down any time soon.